A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize