His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize
