i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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