bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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