p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Randomize
