i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
