My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
