you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
