Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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