Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Randomize
