the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize