end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
