oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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