It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He did a backflip because drugs
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