my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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