If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
