you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
