zippers are such a cool invention
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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