Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
