idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
