I just made out with a guy for $7.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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