Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
