I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
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I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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