would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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