just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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