sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
