Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
