So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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