that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
