Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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