Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
