My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
