Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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