oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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