Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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