Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize