they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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