i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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