Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
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I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
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I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
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