i don't plan on having that self control this summer
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
