You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
