he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
