Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
