thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
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