I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
