I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
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My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
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I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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