Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
