While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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