that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
