Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
