The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
