where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
