So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
