where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
