it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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