Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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