i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
