Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Randomize
