"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
