i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
