Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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