How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
