4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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