I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
