OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
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Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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