I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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