My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
